Oh boy. Here is another very long post that I thought I should share with everyone. There is something about sharing your life on the internet that is very therapeutic. I try to stay true to who I am on this blog. Nothing is artificial or censored because the reality is, people don't like being honest. Sometimes honesty makes other people too uncomfortable.

I hope this post has some value to you. Perhaps you can avoid some of the issues I have crossed this past year and learn something from it. With the lessons I learned from 2016, I am welcoming 2017 with open arms to embark a fresh and new beginning.

1. Never be too confident 

2016 was the year of reflection. I had to take a big step back and look at my relationships with some people to review whether or not I was truly happy in the relationship. I will not go into much detail as to the why I was never happy with some of my friends because it is private. However, notice the signs. If your friends are singling you out, neglecting you, or ignoring you, they are NOT your friends. After months of smiling through it all, I just decided to break ties with the people I disliked because there was no need for me to shed tears over someone who could care less about me. Be careful with who you call your best friend. A best friend is someone who can see past your differences, who support you in every step of the way, and who never leave you when times get tough. Someone who is emotionally detached from you will never be the friend that you need. An acquaintance is someone who leaves you when things are messy. 2016 was an emotionally messy year for me and the friends that stuck around were the ones who truly mattered.

There are a lot of haters out there. When I took on a big leadership position, I was put under a microscope where I was picked apart by advisors, adults, members, students, teachers, and peers. Everybody had an opinion about me. Some were not very quiet about it. I hated this feeling of always being criticized for every move I made. She should have done this. She could have worked on that. While some of my critics worked really hard to tear me down, I have grown a lot stronger. I was so emotionally strained this year that a lot of things made me tired. I just wanted to give up. But I decided to take a different approach to my haters. The best way to retaliate is to prove that you are better. Rise above it all. Keep your head up high. Always be optimistic. 

A big topic that this blog is really famous for was my Accepting Emily post. I started to get recognition at my school for the post that I had put up. People dubbed me as inspirational. I am still working on being 100% confident about who I am and the way I look, but one insecurity that I recently developed was body image. Sometimes when you stare at the mirror, all you can see are what you want to change. What if I could make my nose taller? My lips bigger? My legs longer? My stomach flatter? If you can throw some cash  at it, you can fix those flaws. But those flaws are what make you who you are. My 14 inch scar going down my back is unique to me. The freckles and veins on my skin make my complexion unlike anyone else's. I've learned to embrace who I am and love my flaws. While I might not be able to pull off the things a model can do. I love the way I look. People can have their opinions, but mine is the one that truly matters. 

A lot of people assume things about me. Emily is this. Emily is that. There is not one person who knows everything about me. The only person who is a true expert of Emily is me. People are quick to assume. We try to pretend we understand what this person is like even though we do not know much at all. For a huge part of my life, I was sucked into gossip. People would slander each other all of the time. That was how drama worked, especially in high school. As much as gossip was intriguing, I decided to leave it all behind with 2016. Gossip did nothing but hurt other people and me. I learned that while slandering others gives you a moment of superiority, it is short lived. Do not hurt yourself or the relationships you hold with others. Keep to yourself. Your ugly opinions about someone else only makes you ugly too. 

Do you know the chase? That one person that you so badly want to be with that you would change a part of who you are just to get a smidge of their attention. The one that keeps making you work so hard to look good all the time. That one person who you are always dying to impress. While the chase is all fun and games, always take a step back and reevaluate. A pound of makeup will never change your personality. Pretending you like video games will never change the fact that you like photography instead. There are things that you can't change. There are things that you shouldn't change. Don't stray from your interests, beliefs, and character because of someone else. While conforming is easier, things will only get complicated when the truth unravels. Take the time to be frank. If that person does not accept you or like you the way that you are, move on. They are not worth your time. Find someone who sees the beauty in everything that you do and who you are. That is someone worth chasing for.

Although I do have the unique talent of binge watching criminal minds hours at a time, there are many important things out there that require attention. After having traumatic events happen consecutively in the fall, I started to have a sense of defeat take over my attitude. I would go home, eat food, nap, and stare at the wall wondering what in the world was I doing. There were moments where my parents had to give me an intervention for my lack of ambition. I was so emotionally messed up that it impaired my work habits. I had to rediscover who I was, pick up the pieces, and put the puzzle together. It was only until the end of the year when I really started to get my wake up call. My mind was focused on so many things that it made it especially hard for me to concentrate on my school work and academic life. Don't let negative events pull you down. Fight through it all.

This year I got into a car accident. I backed into a car when I was driving out of a driveway. Nobody was injured from this accident. But after that event occurred, I was so shaken up by it that I was so worried about the consequences from this mistake. I was deeply disappointed in myself and I kept beating myself up about it. Sometimes, things happen. While you are the cause of a mistake, this does not mean that you meant for it to happen. Thinking about what you could have done will only make you relive the moment over and over. Accept the mistake. Learn from it. Move on. The world is not over because of one mistake. You are the one who decides how your life is going to turn out.

11. Learn to forgive.

One of my oldest friends from middle school stopped talking to me for a period of time. He ignored me with no explanation and then switched to homeschooling. I was so devastated by the loss of our friendship. His unexplained silence turned my sadness into anger. I was frustrated that he did not provide me an explanation. He simply stated we can't be friends and walked out of my life. I tried to understand what went wrong. Was it my personality? Did I do something wrong? Over the summer, he and I reconciled. I learned that he ended our friendship because he realized that it would be harder to say goodbye when he switched to homeschooling if we continued to be friends. There is always two sides to the story. I had to learn to forgive him. Talking through the issues we had with each other, I had a better sense as to why we had our falling out. Forgiveness has helped me bring back someone that was really important in my life. Resenting someone will only make things harder to deal with for you.  

12. Don't let other people step on you.

For a huge portion of my life, I have been taken advantage of. I always disliked group projects because I found it unfair. People would assume that I could do all of the work and they would sit and mess around all day. Because of this, I became a very defensive person. I wanted a good grade on my lab reports and if my partners were going to be the downfall of that, I would take over their part. I realized that people took advantage of the fact that I had a very good work ethic. I let people have me take the reins and do the project on my own. When it was time to turn things in, they would get the credit too. This year, I did not tolerate the sharing credit policy. My work is my work. No one has the right to claim something that I was a part of as their own creative idea. After years of tolerating people who took advantage of me, I decided that 2016 was the year for me to be selfish. I am a priority. If I contribute something, I should have my name on it.  I now have a zero tolerance policy on helping others who knowingly take advantage of me. If I help you, it is out of kindness and love. Don't abuse it.

13. Your health is your first priority.

I started to live a very unhealthy lifestyle in the fall. From working hard on college apps to focusing on my schoolwork and extracurriculars, I was always a busy person on the go. Not only did I have a job, but I also took 5 college courses in one trimester (a semester load of work in a shorter period of time), lead 300 Key Clubbers, mentored middle school girls after school, practiced piano, planned 2 training conferences in 3 short months, hosted a division meeting each month, filled out paperwork for Key Club and other clubs (I am involved in 4), and filled out college applications for school. The amount of work that I had on my plate was so much that I would skip meals, stay up late, eat snacks in the evening, and then wake up too tired to move out of the bed. This cycle continued for months on end. I started to gain weight, some intense under eye bags, and gray hair. I realized that while everything I did was very important, there are some things that have priority over others. I had to learn to prioritize and make sure that I adapted to the idea that my health is my biggest concern.

14. Try new things.

I have always been a person who likes to stick to what I know. Feeling a sense of security is a big part of how I go about my day. This is why my routine was relatively the same for most of my life. Japan has taught me to be more experimental. For those of you who are not aware, I traveled to Japan over the summer to stay with a host family and visit amazing historical places. Being a person who has never traveled outside of the country, this was an amazing journey that I will never forget. I learned that I had another passion -- travelling. Trying new things has given me the ability to discover more about myself. Learning about who I am is a constant uphill battle and trying new things has only helped me discover the unique and special things about me that I would have never seen before.

15. Live with no regrets.

There is a moment in your life where you wish you could have gone back and do something that you did not get the chance to do. Last year, I took a lot of chances. I ran for Lieutenant Governor and was elected. I applied to become a Champion Bobcat and received my own trading card. I got chosen by the Sister City board to go to Japan and represent my city. Looking back at it, I am proud of my accomplishments. I seized every opportunity and ran with it. I applied for several leadership positions and got most of them. One resolution I made in 2016 was to take risks in order to live with a life I would not regret. When I look back, I am glad I took all of the opportunities I had in front of me. Although 2016 did not end as well as I had hoped, it was a surprising and wild journey. I had the chance to go to Japan to represent my city, I raised over $600 for the Pediatric Trauma Program, and I got the chance to inspire younger students by being their role model. I am proud of my accomplishments and I am glad that I decided to take those chances. If I did not, I would be stuck in a world thinking of what I could have been.

16. Learn to love.

With so many people holding their anger inside, it seems like the world is a harsh, bitter, and dark. Always show and spread kindness. There is always something that might spark an angry and upset feeling within you, but don't let it take over you. It is easier to hate, harder to love. This year, a friend of mine took her life in the fall because she didn't see the value in living anymore. I had a hard time processing everything. Did I do enough to reach out to her? Why did I not recognize the signs? Everyone goes through difficult times. Some of those times are undetectable. Always be kind and loving to others. You never know how much power a kind word/act can have for someone who is facing difficult struggles

I wish you a happy new year. May 2017 bring you joy, happiness, and prosperity. My life has been full of blessings and 2016 is a year that cannot compare to any other. I will continue to cherish the good moments in my heart and continue forward with the lessons I have learned.

Good Luck,

Em